So what if I had cancer...

Preface: I keep censoring my blog.. I keep feeling like that it is too much to put out there or that I should edit it like I would my Facebook..but that is exactly opposite from why I created this page.. I needed to blindly put everything out there, and know that I had processed it.. so that's why I'm not going to mind that this question is insensitive to cancer patients, survivors, casualties, and their friends and family. This is a valid question.

"What if I had cancer?". But more so, "What if I had a clear time limit on my life?". Would I really be sitting here blogging? Would I still be in school? Would I still be friends with the people I see daily? Maybe I would...That's something I can't really know. 

But I do believe there is too much to learn in this life to be wasting it with menial time fillers. There's too much to experience to be so locked into a set schedule, a set life, a set mind.. I wan't to explore! I want to breathe, I want to love and I want to even experience some hurt. But empty journeys, fear-filled decisions, and this "GO GO GO, NOW GO, GO!!!!" lifestyle is too much. 

I don't mind working hard, I really don't. I love enthralling every last drop of energy into a meaningful project, or mission. It's just when I am lost, left catching my breath, and looking around... that I realize the truth- I've worked so hard for the anti-thesis of fulfillment. What I've acquired is nothing more than opened eyes, and a hope that things will change sooner, rather than later.