Boundaries.

This is something however, that I have had issue defining in my own life. For me, whether it be with my "best friend" who I was madly in love with since I met him in kindergarten, or telling people others business... I hadn't really perfected my definition. Currently, I am in a situation in which I can learn even more (and although I find it humorously painful to say so, "Thank you for this opportunity to grow as a being God ;).  

Now I've always seem to have found boundaries like this- Talk with person; Keep talking until I eventually tell them something that they react strongly too; After multiple encounters with this same person and same reaction, I might decide to stop talking about whatever. 

Here I find myself again, confiding in some one in a search for validation. Now that I'm validated, I can continue on with my life. But now this person is stuck life a broken record, fixating on an issue that was overcome with some conversation, human connection, and affirmation.

I need to start loving myself. haha, seriously. I get myself into these situations that would've never culminated to that point if I had an unwaivering strength. Instead I indulged a self-pity that made me look like a pill-popping addict when in reality, I was apathetic and restless.

I have a lot to learn, I know that. And all of this is a part of a lesson plan. But there is more I can be doing and maybe I had to get this restless, to this point I've been in, before I decided I had enough and needed to be better. I am better. 

Now that I am back in control of my life, I need to set-up healthy boundaries. I am learning how to pick myself up after falling down, and now I'm just dusting myself off.

Sorry G#####. You really got me through this year to where I am today. But now that the year is over, and I am okay- I realize that most of what you said was just your reality projected onto me. And as I'm sure you'd agree, I crave attention. Attention that you could give me. So why need I validate myself when I can have others do it for me. I am sincerely thankful for what you did for me, you got me through a lot and presented ideas to me that I needed to be exposed to. But I have bigger fish to fry and so I'm respectfully pulling away from you. You were one of the many teachers I have and will have encountered in my life and I am deeply appreciative for that. But I'm shedding my skin, really breaking into who I am, and you're no longer a part of that. 

bound·a·ry

 

[boun-duh-ree, -dree] 

–noun, plural -ries.

1.

something that indicates bounds  or limits; a limiting orbounding  line.

2.

Also called frontier. Mathematics . the collection of all pointsof a given set having the property that every neighborhoodof each point contains points in the set and in thecomplement of the set.

3.

Cricket . a hit in which the ball reaches or crosses theboundary line  of the field on one or more bounces, countingfour runs for the batsman. Compare six ( def. 5 ) .