Sorry

Sorry I'm not perfect

My Life :):

I'm just sitting in my room, deciding to finally find me again... and to any story, there is a beginning...

Here's my beginning-

I found everything I was working for..

A job:

"Monday, May 23, 2011

I need a job that:

-Keeps me busy

-Challenges me

-Allows me to interact with people as much as possible

-Helps me grow as a person

-Pays enough to start saving for independence

-Is interesting to me"

This job is everything that I asked for... It isn't easy, but it's worth it. Saying that, yes I want some time off, and a raise x) But I like what I do.

It's just hard. I miss my friends, friends that I never really saw before... but at least there was the hope. Now , I feel like going is all I have. The problem is, I haven't been serious about this. I am going, but going in circles- getting no further away then I was before. 

*Remember: Keep going forward, get out of here*

I need to be serious about this. 

Sometimes I miss my old me with my old life

How do you rise above when you just want to sink to their level?

I don't know how I feel anymore

Edging god out

Losing my power house..

My strength is in my light and why I'm covering it up, I have no clue.

But if I can brace myself, if I make it through, I'm promising myself to be better for it.

And I know I'll make it through it, for I'll always have my breath... And if not, well I guess it won't really matter any more now will it?

♥

Wish my grades had smoked tree so they were higher

it hurts

Messed.

I trusted all of you

Look up boy, it's time to see what's ahead of you and smile.

I have myself..

I can't trust anyone anymore right now. I don't know how to write about this. I can't describe what got me to where I am in this moment. I wouldn't even know if I tried. 


What I do know is, I've spun around faster and faster. I lost sight of what I knew, I wasn't careful and I fell. Standing back up... I don't see what I left behind. I asked god to push me to where I need to be, and I'm lost now. I don't know where I'm going anymore. 

Be honest b!tch. Stop with this fake sh!t.

I am done with your phony ass- expecting me to cover your sloppy ass tracks, accept you and your being a shitty ass friend.

Fuck you b!tch & all your apathetic bullsh!t

You are such a fake bitch

Commin after your sh!t

The Surreal Truth

Charlie - I'm A Criminal [HD Best Quality]

Haha so true

When I get ready for a party: →

Expectation:

Reality:

Poignant.

CHILL THE FUCK OUT

Hottub - 4 Lokos Only (Mochipet Remix)

Right down the road...

Left: Me Right: Jolee x)

You know when you are surrounded by people but still feel alone.. I feel like that most of the time.

Not always bad

But never easy...

I saw a woman today..

She forcefully hobbled along the cement as if she were fighting with each step to prove that she was still alive. It was like she was god's expression of someone in need- it was like I knew I was supposed to help her. Stay with her, give her what she needed- someone to help her through this.

I don't know if she was a drunk, or having a heat stroke, but does it even matter!?

No! She is/was someone's daughter. Someone loved her. And if it were my little sister, brother, or mom.. It would kill me to think no one stopped to help her. It kills me that I didn't stop to help her.

All those cars driving by, one of which I was in, and no one stopped. I didn't stop. My parents didn't stop. My only saving thought is that maybe she was okay on her own or that someone else stopped after I was already gone. But it called to me, it shook something real inside. It felt like, if any person were to stop and help this woman, it should have, could have, and would have been me.

But I did nothing. I ignored her. And now I feel sick.

It wasn't okay.
Forgive me god.

{: or :{

Inspiring or tiring?

Struggling

It's not pretty, It aint easy...so why does it feel so good to be so bad?

"She's hiding in the bay area right? Hey, let me introduce to her disguise... Kreayshawn." -Jess

WHITE

Dealing with a Mac Miller. FML?

I'm sick of feeling numb

I'm ready to be awake. To live. To see.

So how do I do this? I don't know

Well fuck that sh!t. I'm ready to live, and so I'm choosing to do so. 

I'm ready to live, whatever that may look like

Thank you, I needed it.

"You are able and strong

just remember that you

have been thru a lot

worse and gotten thru it...

you always have your family standing with you 

and read to catch you if you fall or need our love

to support you and cradle you in our embrace

pray it always helps. Just remember to pray during the good times too. So it isn't only when times are hard. Not do easy to.do

Not so easy to do   typo"

One day I'll get here

I don't get why I keep[ fucking up like this. It makes me sick to my stomach that I know better, and I keep doing worst. Why am i willing to sell my soul to self-destruct? When I'm hurt, I fuel the flames with hate- I spit poison and I can't stop, and now... I'm sunken. I sunk myself. The game is only over because I quit, and knowing this, I'm still read to turn the system off.

I feel like I'm standing at a precipice with no one to pull me back

Please have a happy ending..please.

Where do we go from here?